Twas’ two days before Christmas, and all through the Fed,
The minions were cheering,”Volatility is dead”.
Portfolios were leveraged, with nary a care,
With assurances that liquidity, would always be there.
The indices climbed to new record heights,
With visions of higher; the Fed you don’t fight.
My terminals blinking, and I at my desk,
I’d finally conceded, there was no more risk.
When in emerging markets there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the Bloomberg, I flew like a flash,
Reviewed all the headlines and began to raise cash.
Europe was crashing, with Japan in more trouble,
China was slowing, and our markets a bubble.
When what to the pandering press should appear,
Soothing words from the Fed, and again markets cheered.
The algos u-turned, there’d be no more sellin’,
I knew in an instant it must be Janet Yellen.
More rapid than eagles, her policies they came,
And she whistled and shouted and called them by name.
On stimulus, on TARP, on QEs 1, 2 and 3,
On Abenomics, on LTROs, the money is free.
$13TR and counting, we’ll print ’til we die.
Prosperity from nothing, it’s as easy as pie.
And then came the punchline, they’d found a new fix.
The Fed was preparing QEs 4, 5 and 6!
I often have asked, just how high is high.
I no longer question, I know to just buy.
The chairwoman smiled, a right jolly old elf.
The con worked again, she was proud of herself.
Fundamentals don’t count, only faith in the Fed.
Investors the world over have nothing to dread.
A world drowning in debt, weighed down with deflation,
Was saved once again by more asset inflation.
And I heard her exclaim, as she cranked up her press,
Wish your kids Merry Christmas, they’ll inherit this mess!